Sunday, October 8, 2017

Little Girl Dreams

As a little girl, I had a lot of dreams about the future. 

Some of them were pretty silly, but hey!  Little girls get to be silly.

I wanted to be a missionary, a teacher, a  stewardess, a nurse, a mother, a go-go dancer, a ballerina, an actress.  I wanted to be on American Band Stand and I wanted to marry Elvis... and then I wanted to marry Mickey Dolenz of "The Monkees" fame even though everyone else was in love with Davy Jones.

This dates me, but one of the most popular songs and one of my favorites as a small child was Doris Day's

"Que Sera, Sera"

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows
Day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera

Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera

If you get to be very old at all, you realize the truth in these lyrics.   The future is not ours to see.   I don't know that any of us would be brave enough to carry on if we could actually see the future.

The lingo now is:  "It is what it is."    I detest when someone uses this phrase, as though a situation can not be changed.  But you can not deny the truth of it.    Sometimes it just is what it is.

But "it" can be changed when you have the audacity to believe that God is working even in the most trying and difficult circumstances.   When you believe that whatever the outcome, God will turn it to your good and His glory.

Though we can not see the future, our futures can be more amazing than we could imagine when we give our future and our plans and our circumstances to God.  When we let Him make the arrangements and do the work in us.

Little girls dream big.   God's dream for us is even bigger and better!

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

I Misses Kisses

I misses Kisses
and warmly hugs
and midnight spoons
and bumps and thuds.

I misses Kisses
and touchy feels,
thrills and chills
and morning steals.

I misses Kisses
and little pecks
and legs wrapped long
and hugsy necks.

I misses Kisses
oh yes I do.
I misses Kisses
but I don't miss you.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017


I'm done.

Done waiting for something to happen.
Done waiting for life to happen.

Done thinking that I am going to accomplish 'great things' for God.

Done with myself.

I am a member of the body.
Each member has its own function.
My function is to study the Word of God and to share it with others.     

Other people have their own function within the body.
It is theirs.
Mine is not the same as theirs.
Theirs is not the same as mine.

They are all equally important.

If God wants me to share it with one other or with a million others, that's up to Him.

I have been waiting around for something amazing to happen.
Waiting for God to open a door for ministry that would launch me out there.

I read blogs of others wishing I could write like them.

I hear stories of others ministries and wish I had one of my own.

Missionaries send reports and I want to go where they are.

I have been discontent... wanting what others have.

He just wants me to study and learn and share.
It already happened and the memory of it is indelibly printed within.
I have been launched, although I didn't feel the bottle of champagne burst against my hull.

His spirit moves within me.   
And you?


Friday, January 13, 2017

Bad Burger - Lesson Learned

At a local fast food place this evening, the young lady behind the register asked if she could help me and I began telling her my order.

While I was giving her my order, my cashier kept looking at the person next to me who was also placing her order with another cashier.

My young distracted cashier wasn't focused on me or what I was saying. I repeated my order to her at least 3 times all the while wondering if she was high on something.

When my meal was ready, of course it was not right. I returned it twice and on the third remake of my burger, it was still wrong.

I just shook my head and accepted that my fate this evening was to have a pretty bad burger.

It made me appreciate when I do get good service.

My rambling thoughts about this lack of personal attention landed right on my heart later  in the evening.

I attended a meeting tonight where a young lady was teaching about worship. She asked the group "what is worship"? A few people answered in various ways and the speaker gave her definition of worship.

All of the answers were good ones.

My experience at the restaurant hit home. Isn't it funny how God will use the most inane life experiences to grab your attention?

Because my thoughts about "what is worship" were: Giving to God our undivided and undistracted attention, our love, our worries, our pain and emotions, our trust and hopes and obedience in our prayer, our songs of praise, our speech and actions.

He inhabits our praise and worship. There is a flow of love and communication back and forth between the worshiper and the Worshiped.

In Spirit and in Truth.

The result is perfection.

I am thankful that when I talk with God and spend time with Him, He is paying attention to me and focused on our conversation.

Can you imagine presenting your prayer requests to God only to see Him listening to someone else while pretending to listen to you?

Then again, maybe God feels the same frustration when He tries to communicate with us and we don't pay any attention to Him. (which is not a good idea)

I confess, sometimes I am distracted by other things when He is talking to me.

Can we do this over, Lord?

Thank You for the bad burger tonight.

You got my attention.

My entire focus is on You and what You want.

Seek God.. He is not far. Worship Him. Give Him your time and attention. He is always listening and makes sure our prayers are answered perfectly every time.

Ramble on.

Sunday, February 7, 2016


You know they prayed.   Like most parents to be, they prayed for their unborn child.   They prayed for health, they prayed for blessings.  

Imagine their hearts breaking  and their disappointment when their son was born with a birth defect. 

Where was the blessing?  Where was the joy of having a newborn son?  What had they done to deserve this? 

Their treasure was born blind.

The wailing began.  The prayers began... the sacrifices began.  

To no avail.

Their son was not healed by their faith or their prayers or their tears.   He was blind.

Sometimes life is just hard and you don't get what you want.    You don't get what you pray for.

You live with disappointment and the disability.



We tend to meet such disappointments with the ache of anger and broken dreams.

Years later, after this child was grown into a man, he would spend his life begging.   It seems that was the only source of income for someone with such a disability.  

Every one knew him as the blind beggar.

Until one day when his life changed.

Until one day when he met Jesus.

Jesus and his disciples came along and there the man was begging.

Curious, the disciples asked Jesus who was to blame for this man's blindness?   Surely someone had sinned to cause it.  His parents?  Him?

Jesus explained  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.    I must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day;  the night is coming.  As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world."


God planned this?    He picked this set of parents to have a child born without sight?   

This man was born blind and spent his entire life with this horrific disability.... so that one day Jesus would heal him and God would be given the glory?  

So that people would see God working?   So that maybe someone would see the Light?

People asked questions.   All the blind man could do was give Jesus the credit, give the Son of God the glory.   He didn't bemoan the life he had spent blind.   He rejoiced in the miracle of his new sight!

When asked,  he replied  “If this Man were not from God, He could do nothing.”

When he saw Jesus for the first time,  he exclaimed "Lord, I believe."  And he worshipped Him.

Maybe... just maybe... this thing that you are going through is not about you.   


Maybe... just maybe.. you have been chosen from before time.... part of a plan.

Maybe... just maybe.... your unanswered prayers will have a greater answer than you can imagine.

Maybe ... just maybe... this thing that you are going through is going to be used to show the works of the Lord and give Him the glory. 

If you allow Him to answer your need in His way....

If you trust Him with your disability... your situation... your pain... with your heart...

His answer will be perfect and your life will be changed in ways you can't even imagine.

Believe Him.   Worship Him.

(John 9: 1-41 NKJV)



Sunday, September 20, 2015

Divorce and Diamonds

Image result for broken wedding bandsI was reading some comments a while back on a Facebook page.   This precious lady had lost her husband in the last year and she was talking about 'firsts'.     The first birthday without him and so on.  

Many people commented and commiserated with her.. some sharing their own stories of when they lost their spouse and the pain and anguish... the despair and forlornness  that they endured and still suffer.

Many offered words of encouragement and shared how, although they suffered loss, that God was with them and was their comfort and help.

Losing the love of your life at any age is unbearable and leaves one gasping and straining for one last touch, one last look or word, one last intimate embrace.   Holding on to memories as if they were a life preserver and you are drowning.

Even the not so good times are glossed over and become a diamond to treasure.

My heart  goes out to her and to all those that have lost their 'one and only' to the hereafter.    Heartache is physical, emotional, spiritual and scarring.   Time will never heal it.  Only God.

I have not felt their pain or experienced their particular loss.

Yet I have felt the loneliness of loss... the pain of separation... the shattered heart of a broken marriage... the stark desperation of abandonment and betrayal... the ripping and tearing apart of a lifetime.

I have experienced those  'firsts' of being alone with heartbreak on those 'special' days... the bitter recollections of decades together that should have been (and were intended to be) sweet promises of a life spent living the vow of till death do us part. 

Bitter.  Sweet.

Every reminiscence becomes an unwanted gut wrenching knife wielding intruder, not a welcomed guest.  

Attempting to forget the past involves trying to deny my history.  It is wishful thinking... a waste of time.   Barring the onset of amnesia, I am stuck with remembering the life I have lived.  

How does one suppress memories of building a life together, raising a family, planning for a future?   Those experiences are what form my life.   They are the spring from which came my children and and my friends.. my outlook... my attitudes and my plans. 

A paradox of four decades of memories... good and bad... lovely yet also repugnant to me.  Where are my diamonds to shine and glimmer in the recesses of my mind?

How do I embrace this 'life preserver' of memories of  a marriage that drowned in the ocean of  divorce?

It's not something that you share on social media the way some do after a loved one passes away.

There are only two options:  Either wallow in bitterness and regret... or choose to wrap my head and heart around the good things from the past.   To forgive so that every flashback does not come with angst and conflicting emotions, but  brings freedom and allows me to reminisce about the good times... and the not so good.

For those of you walking this solitary path...whether divorced or widowed,  allow God to lift you up and heal you.

Seek God's plan for you.  He offers new treasure every day.   It's not a scavenger hunt.   It's not buried and hidden.    It is the opportunity to choose today how you will live the life He has given.   Live it in joy!

Friday, December 19, 2014


My ice maker is on the fritz.   

Not on the fridge... on the fritz.   It's fritzed out...

I'm not complaining about it.   It's been inoperable for several years now.    

Does not work.

There is probably a simple fix for it, but I've just never bothered.

Not that I mind.    I bought some plastic ice trays from today's version of the five and dime store and life went on.

I have filled and emptied and filled and emptied these plastic ice trays for years now.  

Every time I do this, I think of my childhood when home ice makers didn't exist.    If they did, I was not aware of them.  We didn't have one.    Shoot!  We were barely past the time where you had to go buy a block of ice to put in your icebox.     No, little ones, I am not making this up.   I was a kid in the good old days.

We had ice trays that needed to be filled when they were empty.

So you see, what appeared at first to be an inconvenience actually became a pleasure taking me back in time to simple days (if there ever was such a thing).

Of course, there are some draw backs to using ice trays as opposed to an automatic ice maker.

If I want ice, I have to remember to refill them.    If I want to offer my family and friends an ice cold drink, I have to make sure that the ice trays have been filled and frozen.    

Sometimes, I don't remember.    And sometimes, I think I will just do it in a little bit cause I have to answer the phone or the door or something is on TV that distracts me.

When the trays are left unfilled and unfrozen, I run out of ice.    What an inconvenience!   And what a disappointment when I go to the freezer and realize what has happened.       

No ice for me.  No ice for any one.

I guess the same things can be said for a relationship with Jesus.   I love how He can take us back to the simple truth of a life with Him.

 If I want to be filled, I have to make an effort.   I don't want to run out and be at a loss because I neglected to be filled.   Don't get me wrong.   I believe and know that when we are born again, we are sealed with the deposit of the Holy Spirit.   Yet the Spirit must be fed.      If He is going to use me to tell others of His gift of salvation, He has to fill me with His living water.   And I have to go to Him to receive it.

It is a constant and continual connection.   He said He would give us living water.    That is an ongoing process.   Never ending, yet not automatic.  

To endure and overcome the tribulations of this life.   To be able to offer living water to others, we have to be consistent and persistent in being filled by the Holy One, constantly in His Word, in prayer... at the source... always filled.

 "Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”     John 4: 14

"On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”    John 7: 37-38

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."  2 Corinthians 1: 21-22